Category Archives: Lifestyle Balance

The silently allowed discrimination

Had a meat-eater written something like: “Learn to love meat. If you don’t love it, you don’t know how to do it right. It’s the best for you. Start with these simple steps:…”, vegetarians would have gone berserk. Frankly, I would not appreciate such a style either, as that excludes the possibility of making a choice. However, when a lark is writing something like: “Learn to wake up early. If you don’t love to wake up early, you don’t know how to do it right. It’s the best for you. Start with those simple steps:…”, owls just suck it up. But wait, isn’t that the same narrative just in a different context?

Moreover, this narrative keeps on coming at you in all forms possible: “you definitely need to write the Morning pages!”, “The best time is Morning!”, “It is scientifically proven that a person is most effective in the Morning!”, ”Let me teach you how to start waking up early!” — that’s just by skimming through several pages of popular public speakers and coaches. The silently allowed discrimination! Well, I do not know which science has proven what, but I am dangerously aggressive (LOL) before at least 8 or better 9 in the morning … Am I doomed? Efficiency and balance are not for me by definition?

Actually if one looks around, it might seem like a conspiracy. The social life seems to be made by and for the larks, which personally, I consider to be the cruelest injustice of this world. I will tell you more: if you dare to openly admit that you prefer to work at night, very often you can hear sympathy or comments like: either you do not know how to organize your day, or you cannot prioritize. “You steal your own efficiency!”, “You crush your balance!”, and as a cherry on the pie: “You should just try, you will get used to it!”.

You can, of course, get used to almost everything, but this does not mean that you will feel good about it, nor that it is actually the best way. And if it doesn’t seem to work for you… why would you torture yourself?

I would like to conclude my slightly emotional narrative by stressing that the matter of conscious choice is relevant not only in respect of global issues, but also in connection with certain small habits and actions. There are no one-size-fits-all approaches. There are no magic transformations of owls into larks either. It all starts with knowing yourself, your needs and also your limitations. Most importantly, if it works for Tony Robbins (or anyone else, pick your favourite!), it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will work for you. Thus, if you are more comfortable in the shadow of the night, start writing “Night pages” — they will be just as good and much more natural for you.

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The value of time. You get what you tolerate.

Time is precious, time is the only thing which cannot be bought despite the amount of money on one’s bank account. An obvious notion, so rarely forgotten… More than often we treat time like we have an endless supply of it, we waste that of our own and… fail to show respect to that of others. The latter is what I would like to address in this post.

Continue reading The value of time. You get what you tolerate.

Grit: the missing puzzle piece

She was sitting at the table for whole 15 minutes, which for her is already a very long stretch of time. Sighing and whining our daughter was struggling through cursive letters; until finally she angrily dropped the pen. She was fuming and downhearted. That “stupid cursive” failed to obey her. 

“Why can’t you just immediately know how to do it right?!”, — she shouted, her eyes filled with sadness. 

Indeed, why can’t you?… Continue reading Grit: the missing puzzle piece

What did I learn when I slowed down and why is it important?

Hustling is never productive.

This might sound somewhat too categorical for a starting sentence, yet it is what it is. If you hustle too much there is a big chance you won’t get far. Another important facet is that hustling is rarely combinable with enjoying. You simply don’t have time for that. Continue reading What did I learn when I slowed down and why is it important?

Is it always good to be nice?

“Be nice!” – that’s something a kid hears a lot. Since early on we are expected to be nice to others, meaning at least: be friendly, share and help the ones in need. “She is a nice person!” – that is supposed to be a compliment. “That’s so nice of you!” – is meant as a sincere “thank you”. However, what is “nice”? Moreover, is it always good to be nice? Let’s discuss.

I actually got to thinking about this subject after I came across an article mentioning ruinous empathy. Ruinous empathy? – I thought – how can that be? For me, empathy is an essential and positive skill. How can it be ruinous? What does it mean? So I did a quick Google search and discovered that such thing indeed exists, yet in fact has little to do with actual empathy. We talk about it in a situations when a person is not saying what needs to be said, because he or she is desperately trying to be nice in order to protect someone else’s feelings. Let me give you a very simple (even simplistic) example to demonstrate ruinous empathy:

Continue reading Is it always good to be nice?