Category Archives: Parenthood

If you die tomorrow, where’s your contingency plan?

In a lot of major corporations the CEO and the President of the Board of Directors are not allowed to travel together. The same applies to the President and the Vice President of a country.

But what about families?

This was the question we were discussing with my husband while driving home after dropping kids at their grandparents. Freeway; driving 130 kms (±80 miles) per hour; cars passing each other…

Continue reading If you die tomorrow, where’s your contingency plan?

Do you like my painting? or: Reflections on external appreciation and consolation prizes

Yesterday our daughter was once again drawing something weird on a piece of paper. Then she turned to me and asked the classic question: “Do you like my painting?“. I was tempted to reply the usual: “Yes, of course, very beautiful. Good job!” yet something stopped me this time. Instead I asked her back: “Do YOU like your painting?“. She was puzzled. To be frank, so was I. All this triggered me to think about external appreciation and consolation prizes.  Continue reading Do you like my painting? or: Reflections on external appreciation and consolation prizes

The new reality: Becoming a parent without losing your own identity

Kids change your life — that’s a given. It is not only about practicalities, but mostly about mindset. However, both the practicalities and the mindset are in your power. You will need to adjust and adapt, yet you don’t have to forget who you are.

A while ago I have written an article for the School for Personality development ReFresh (article is in Russian language) entitled “Balancing on the new verge: What should you think about when moving on to a role of parent” (see link here). Of course, it is mostly relevant for those who are only about to become parents for the first time, yet might be interesting also for long-time parents, who are sometimes feeling a bit lost and in search for harmonious balance of their inner roles. This post will talk about the same subject as the article mentioned, so if you master both English and Russian — you can pick which version you prefer to read. It is not an exact translation, yet the essence is practically the same. Continue reading The new reality: Becoming a parent without losing your own identity

Family living far away: keeping in touch despite the distance

The world is getting smaller and more interconnected every day. That’s just modern reality. We are mobile and we are on the move. Most of the times we are no longer “confined” to living in the same area, city, or even country as our ancestors. If I look at my classmates from school, for example, almost none of them stayed in my home-country. My ex-classmates are now everywhere from Europe to Canada and from Brazil to New Zealand. But what about their families? Well, as we are now in our 30s, most of my ex-classmates have families of their own. Yet, this is not what I mean… Their parents, their, so-to-say initial families, families they were born into – they in a lot of occasions are still in Latvia. And that raises quite some questions. The first and probably most obvious one is: how do you truly stay in touch?  Continue reading Family living far away: keeping in touch despite the distance

Be the Gardener, not the Carpenter for your kids

There is no doubt that we wish the best for our kids. We try as hard as we can and make choices as intelligently as possible. Nevertheless what often happens is that in an effort to give them the best we fall into the trap of micromanagement. We try to control them too much; we decide for them way too often; we try to protect them from all the possible troubles and problems. In a way this a natural wish – to protect your off-spring from everything. On the other hand, the same as micromanaging is a recipe for trouble in the corporate world; micromanaging childhood has many cons which by far outweigh its pros.

In her latest book “The Gardener and the Carpenter” Prof. Alison Gopnik propagates the idea that Continue reading Be the Gardener, not the Carpenter for your kids