Tag Archives: balance

The silently allowed discrimination

Had a meat-eater written something like: “Learn to love meat. If you don’t love it, you don’t know how to do it right. It’s the best for you. Start with these simple steps:…”, vegetarians would have gone berserk. Frankly, I would not appreciate such a style either, as that excludes the possibility of making a choice. However, when a lark is writing something like: “Learn to wake up early. If you don’t love to wake up early, you don’t know how to do it right. It’s the best for you. Start with those simple steps:…”, owls just suck it up. But wait, isn’t that the same narrative just in a different context?

Moreover, this narrative keeps on coming at you in all forms possible: “you definitely need to write the Morning pages!”, “The best time is Morning!”, “It is scientifically proven that a person is most effective in the Morning!”, ”Let me teach you how to start waking up early!” — that’s just by skimming through several pages of popular public speakers and coaches. The silently allowed discrimination! Well, I do not know which science has proven what, but I am dangerously aggressive (LOL) before at least 8 or better 9 in the morning … Am I doomed? Efficiency and balance are not for me by definition?

Actually if one looks around, it might seem like a conspiracy. The social life seems to be made by and for the larks, which personally, I consider to be the cruelest injustice of this world. I will tell you more: if you dare to openly admit that you prefer to work at night, very often you can hear sympathy or comments like: either you do not know how to organize your day, or you cannot prioritize. “You steal your own efficiency!”, “You crush your balance!”, and as a cherry on the pie: “You should just try, you will get used to it!”.

You can, of course, get used to almost everything, but this does not mean that you will feel good about it, nor that it is actually the best way. And if it doesn’t seem to work for you… why would you torture yourself?

I would like to conclude my slightly emotional narrative by stressing that the matter of conscious choice is relevant not only in respect of global issues, but also in connection with certain small habits and actions. There are no one-size-fits-all approaches. There are no magic transformations of owls into larks either. It all starts with knowing yourself, your needs and also your limitations. Most importantly, if it works for Tony Robbins (or anyone else, pick your favourite!), it doesn’t necessarily mean that it will work for you. Thus, if you are more comfortable in the shadow of the night, start writing “Night pages” — they will be just as good and much more natural for you.

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What did I learn when I slowed down and why is it important?

Hustling is never productive.

This might sound somewhat too categorical for a starting sentence, yet it is what it is. If you hustle too much there is a big chance you won’t get far. Another important facet is that hustling is rarely combinable with enjoying. You simply don’t have time for that. Continue reading What did I learn when I slowed down and why is it important?

Why achieving goals could screw up your life?

Did you ever feel disappointment after achieving a long desired goal? Like for example you were hoping to land that amazing job, but now feel totally exhausted, find yourself lacking time for anything and see no “light at the end of the tunnel”? Or — let’s even talk personal — you wanted to be in a relationship with a successful entrepreneur, but now are spending your evenings all alone as he (or she) is busy working on building his (her) business? Whatever it is, sometimes goals we achieve and dreams which come true turn out to be more of a curse than blessing for us. How come? Continue reading Why achieving goals could screw up your life?

The new reality: Becoming a parent without losing your own identity

Kids change your life — that’s a given. It is not only about practicalities, but mostly about mindset. However, both the practicalities and the mindset are in your power. You will need to adjust and adapt, yet you don’t have to forget who you are.

A while ago I have written an article for the School for Personality development ReFresh (article is in Russian language) entitled “Balancing on the new verge: What should you think about when moving on to a role of parent” (see link here). Of course, it is mostly relevant for those who are only about to become parents for the first time, yet might be interesting also for long-time parents, who are sometimes feeling a bit lost and in search for harmonious balance of their inner roles. This post will talk about the same subject as the article mentioned, so if you master both English and Russian — you can pick which version you prefer to read. It is not an exact translation, yet the essence is practically the same. Continue reading The new reality: Becoming a parent without losing your own identity