I believe almost everyone knows that story that if you put a frog in hot water, it will jump out, but if you put it in cold water and start slowly boiling it, eventually you will boil a frog. Subtle changes slight inconvenience, acceptable discomfort… and a frog is boiled dead. But even without going into fatalistic mode, small soft steps are efficient if you need to deal with any opposition.

Long time ago I had the “conflict” with my mother over a car. I was a University student and I wanted to buy myself a car. My mom was against it mainly for two reasons: her own fear of driving (she crashed a car into a tree once) and because according to her there was no real need for a car. It was more or less “over my dead body” kind of opposition. However, I really wanted to have a car, so what happened next? Obviously, I was on her nerves all the time, but that was not what made me succeed. One day we went to London and she saw those typical London cabs in real life. She called them: “oh so cute!” and that’s where I had my catch! I asked her if I could get something like that, would I be allowed to have a car. Being confident it was not possible, she replied affirmative. LOL! Guess what? First thing back home I found one second-hand… And continued to push my “course”. The funny thing was that after accepting the fact of a car as such (be it a London cab or whatever else) the change in the mindset already happened. A month later I got myself a Nissan Primera.

In the essence, it’s the proverbial foot in a door. Once you got your “foot” in, you can sneak the “full body”, even if there is an opposition. That’s the approach very frequently used: sometimes for the good, more than often for the opposite.

• So, if you are a “frog”, watch out for the subtle changes and ask yourself: where is it all going? Who benefits? What could be the consequences?
• And if you are a “cook”, be gentle in introducing changes: small steps are always the most efficient.

The only challenge is to understand who you are…