In one of the questionnaires I filled up recently there was a question if I prefer to live in a city or in the countryside and why. By now I lived in both and actually I did like both. Having been born and raised in a city, more than two years ago I switched its comfort for the beauty of the countryside. Before that I had never even stayed in the countryside for more than a week. Moreover, I could not have even imagined myself ever moving out of the city. And here I am now… Continue reading Village vs. City: Pros and cons of living in the countryside
My favorite stuff: Household items that simplify my life
There is not that much stuff that is really “essential for survival”, however there are certain things that make life easier. This type of stuff is what I like. So, here we go – a list of my favorite things (in the order of remembering, not in the order of significance):
- Robotic lawn mower – if your terrain is relatively big this is simply a life-saver! I cannot even imagine how many weekends were saved by this machine. It just does what it has to do and you get a perfect lawn, so you can get yourself a glass of wine and admire your picture-worthy backyard (or front-yard, or both). Ours is Robomow RS630. Of course, this thing is not cheap, but it is worth every penny.
- Nespresso Aeroccino – I like to have a strong espresso in the morning, but my second cup is usually a latte. How I used to make it was just putting in the respective capsule in my Dolce Gusto machine. The problem was – this way I got only 8 cups of coffee per box of capsules (instead of 16 which I get with a box of espresso capsules), making it pricey. Also, it limited the choice of milk – if I felt more like skimmed or wanted to use for instance almond milk – bad luck! Obviously if you have an espresso-maker with a milk frothing function, you don’t need any additional devices. However, if you brew your coffee in a french press, or use any other device (Aeropress, siphon, percolator, Dolce Gusto machine…), for a perfect latte Aeroccino is a very good choice.
- Silicone mat and rolling pin – mine are from Lekue – I am their devoted fan. If you have ever tried to roll dough with a traditional rolling pin you know what I mean. Yes, it also works, but be honest how many times you were scraping the dough from the rolling pin (or from the table) and swearing like hell? Even if you weren’t, trust me with a silicone mat and rolling pin it is just easier. Full-stop.
- Stand-mixer – if you bake on a regular basis this is a must, otherwise you can do without. My stand-mixer serves also as “a classic kitchen design element” because it is a KitchenAid Artisan. I do bake, so I use it intensively. Also, its flat-beater makes perfect mashed potato!
- Steam-mop – at first I was skeptical if it will clean the floor thoroughly. However, after I cleaned it with our steam-mop, I wiped the previously dirty floor with a clean paper tissue and was positively surprised to find it absolutely clean. The only problem I have with my model is that the cable is not long enough… Otherwise, my Black+Decker is a perfect cleaning companion.
- Oven and cooking surface with integrated timer and automatic switch off – this is simply genius! If I hadn’t had it, I would have surely burnt a lot of pots… And would have bought a couple of stand-alone timers in the end. 🙂 I still remember that once I put water to boil in a kettle and forgot about it, to come to my kitchen and find the kettle glaring red in the darkness. Scary! It was by pure luck that a fire didn’t start! So I am now sooo happy with my Neff oven and induction hob with integrated timer and switch off function – you just set for how long it needs to cook and then it just switches off and informs you about it with a loud beep. Amazingly convenient!
- SodaStream – I simply love this device. It allows you to make sparkling water with a taste of your liking from just usual tap water. Normally I have about 6 to 8 different syrups to choose from: from unusual limited edition stuff like “raspberry, lychee, rose” to traditional cola or orange (~Fanta) or lime (~Sprite).
- Gym Ball (big one – 90 cm / 35.4 in) – I used it when at one point in time my son was being difficult at falling asleep and required some gentle shaking (it is much easier to do it while sitting on a gym ball). I use it for doing exercises at home. And finally, I just use it instead of a chair at the dining table already for two years. I personally find it very convenient for my back to sit on it and then again – if while sitting I move my fine ass a bit, my conscience becomes clear that I already did at least some exercises today (giggle).
- Tempur bed with Tempur mattress – We spend at least a quarter of our life in bed, so the investment in making this time better makes a lot of sense. For many years I was waking up in the morning and feeling discomfort in every part of my body, before I discovered this bed and mattress. The material used in the mattress was developed by NASA scientists and is temperature-sensitive and able to evenly distribute body weight. Tempur offers better sleep than inner springs, air, and “memory foam” – tried them all. This beauty sadly comes with a price tag, but my back says “thank you” for it every single morning!
- Kindle Paperwhite – for long I was refusing to read from electronic devices, because I wanted to have the real feel of a book. However, with moving to another country I gave it a try and never regretted! Kindle Paperwhite gives you the feel that you are reading from a paper. Even in the bright sunlight there is no glare and no reflection whatsoever. Additionally, eBooks are much cheaper than paper books (which also require to be delivered, hence add delivery costs) and don’t require space on your shelf.
Other items I have around the house are nice-to-have ones or just nice ones, but not even close to being essential. Frankly, also the above items are not essential, but for me they are still pretty close to being such.
What are your favorite items around household that simplify your life? I would love to know, as maybe I am missing something spectacular!
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Miscarriage: Comments I wish I could un-hear
I must admit at first I was not planning on touching this subject as it still hurts a lot. However, it seems important to talk about it because so many good people are making so many awful mistakes over and over again by saying things that shouldn’t have been said to someone who has lost a child. And although I am going to use examples from my personal experience, I am now talking in the name of all women that went through a miscarriage.
Sadly, miscarriages happen more often than you would want to and more often than you would think. Medical statistics claim that a miscarriage occurs in 15-20% of recognized pregnancies (80-85% occurring in weeks 1-12). That’s almost one in five! In most cases there is no reason whatsoever, just a “natural selection”. Some women get through this relatively easy, some others crash. I crashed.
However, in addition to already feeling indescribably awful I got additionally hurt by some comments people said to me. And I believe that it was not only me who has experienced that, probably hundreds of other women heard something alike. And trust me – it hurts enormously! This is why I made a list of comments I heard, which I wish I could un-hear and maybe that would trigger some people to think twice before saying certain things:
- “Oh, but it’s only 12 weeks, it’s not yet a child” (For a mother it is a child from the moment she saw the two stripes.)
- “But you already have two gorgeous kids” (yes, I have two. But I had three and one died.)
- “It’s probably because you didn’t have enough time to recuperate after your previous pregnancy” (So on top of everything, you say I am the one to blame? That’s so painful, so unfair, so not true and besides this is so not the cause!)
- “But why did that happen?” (You really think I am going to provide you the answer now?! Even though the only answer is: “it just did”, it’s the question that is going to be nagging me forever. There is totally no need to bring it up again)
- “You are still young, you can still have more kids if you want” (I think you missed the point)
- “Oh, I understand you, I also had a threat of miscarriage and I know how it feels” (Your kid is looking at you now and holding your hand with her sweet little hands. You had a threat. I had a nightmare come true. How can you possibly understand?)
- “Are you going to try again?” (Sorry, but how’s that your business?)
- “Maybe it is a sign that you should stop getting pregnant?” (With all due respect but maybe you missed a sign that you should stop talking?)
- “At least now you are not going to have morning sickness anymore” (Have you seriously just said that?)
There are probably more. There are definitely more.
The point I want to make is that if you found out that a friend of yours or anybody you know went through a miscarriage, the only thing you should say is: “I am sorry for your loss”. If you want to help, offer to entertain older kids, offer to do the groceries or help cleaning-up the house. Unless you went through this yourself, trust me you have not even the slightest idea how it feels! So, please stick to “I am sorry for your loss” and don’t hurt her even more…
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Back to real life: Some tips on making your life easier when coming home from vacations
Coming home from vacations can be tough. Coming home from vacations with kids? Well, raise to the power of your liking. This is of course not about a short trip or a day-out, it is more the issue for coming back from at least a 7 to 10 day vacation or longer. I am not going to be talking about dealing with that psychological phenomena that you might feel down or depressed when you come home; I just want to touch upon purely practical issues and share some of my tips on how to get back to “real life” as smoothly as possible.
- If you are flying and you happen to have a choice, pick an early flight back. The day of departure is anyway a lost day in a sense, so if you can just get home in the morning and still have some time for a smooth transition to your everyday life and for adjusting back kid’s schedules, use that! In general try to have at least a day to breathe out before jumping back to work, school and all the everyday chores. If you are able to schedule your vacation so that you have a weekend at home that’s even better. During your vacations you tend to loosen up daily schedules, you tend to have somewhat different eating habits and in general vacation time is obviously not the same as your daily routine. Additionally travel itself from point A to point B tends to be tiresome, especially for the little ones. Thus, if you arrive on Sunday and on the next day your kids need to go to school that will be very harsh on them! That will also be very harsh on you. So if you have a chance – take it easy and factor in the “adjustment time”. Small note on a daily schedule: on the day of arrival try to get kids to sleep at the usual hour and also get them up at the usual hour the next day – even if the next day is Sunday. Yes, 7 a.m. on Sunday might sound counter-intuitive, but trust me that would make the following Monday much easier.
- If you have that possibility do the laundry on the pre-last day of your vacation to arrive back with clean clothes instead of two-three full machines work. Big-big “but” here – only in case it is not too much of a hassle, as it is not the idea to actually ruin one of your vacation days! For us this time we just came back from our vacation at my mom’s, so doing the laundry for us was totally not a problem. Also if you were on vacation in a country where laundry service doesn’t cost the same as renting a limo you might consider using that. But to be honest the beauty of having laundry already done is worth even some extra bucks.
- Try sorting your clothes in your luggage in a way that it is possible to immediately take them out and put them in your closet. To be able to do that you need 1) to sort them at least per person (use plastic or paper bags; or just “divide the luggage in necessary amount of parts and assign a part for each of the travelers) and 2) to fold them in the same way you usually fold your clothes to put in your closet at home. What I mean by the latter is that if you for example usually fold your t-shirts flat to put them in the closet there is no point of rolling them to put them in your luggage, as you will get yourself an additional work when you come home.
- If this option is available to you – order your groceries online in advance, as your fridge is probably empty, isn’t it? What we usually do is order everything to be ready for a pick up on the day of our arrival. All we need then is just to quickly pass the supermarket and pick the boxes assembled for us. If that would not be possible we would need to physically go to the supermarket and lose at least an hour. If that can be avoided – by all means avoid it!
- Unless you have been away for just couple of days the amount of dust everywhere will be surprising in a bad sense of the word. You will have some time for a thorough cleaning later on, but upon arrival try quickly going over some common surfaces like a table, night stand, TV with a wet cloth (or a cleaning tissue). Same for the floor – “Swiffer” or analogues works perfect as a quick so-to-say “in-between cleaning” solution. You can of course skip this point if sounds irrelevant for you, but I personally prefer to have it relatively clean around at all times, and that way according to me is also a nice “take-it-easy transition to reality”.
As you have probably noticed I have a lot of “ifs” in my suggestions. Obviously. Some of the options will not be available for everyone (like a possibility to order groceries online, or an option to choose the morning flight), thus you have to see for yourself. The main point I want to make is – just have it at the back of your head that there are various ways how you can simplify your life upon arrival back home if you just do some homework in advance.
P.S. Some additional alarms on the first workday after vacations might also be a nice-to-have – like an alarm to remind you that you need to pick up your toddler from school! 🙂
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Hogwarts 2.0.: Learning magical powers in the comfort of your own living room
If you expect that by having read this article you will learn how to fly on a broom or how to freeze the moment I am afraid I will need to disappoint you. But for flying there are better alternatives and the moments can also be “frozen” in numerous ways. The magic I want to talk about is much more mundane yet also much more powerful. It can make other people’s day brighter, it can light up your own day and it can also miraculously get you what you want. It is the extraordinary power of a smile and a genuine “thank you”.
Saying “thank you” seems so easy but it is amazing how often it is overlooked. The root-cause of a lot of problems is that things are being taken for granted or that people are being taken for granted. Just a little bit of appreciation, recognition, gratitude can make somebody’s day and enhance positive vibes in the air. Coupled with a smile it does wonders!
A little example. You expect to get a good customer service. Sure so. But how often when you actually got one, you bothered to say “thank you”? That’s not needed, because a company is obliged to provide good customer service? Yes, but it’s not a company but its people who actually provide that service to you. Everybody likes recognition, moreover, everybody deserves recognition. I contacted a customer service of one company recently with a problem. They rapidly provided me with solutions and also with all the relevant information so that I could pursue one of the options. Of course, I wrote back to them saying that I am grateful, that this attitude is the reason I like their company and that I wish them all a splendid day. I had to recontact them two days later as that particular spare part I needed was only available for delivery in the Netherlands. What they did – they ordered it for me. Delivered to my door. For free. I am not saying that this happened because I told them that they are amazing. However, this is also not the first time that I experience good things coming my way after I have just been kind to people and have appreciated what they did to me instead of taking them for granted. When you send out positive energy you tend to get it back and not necessarily from the same person.
In personal relationships the power of “thank you” and a smile is even more significant. Yes, of course, you don’t make dinner to receive “thank you” from your husband, nor you do the laundry for that purpose. However, a simple “thank you” is a positive vibe that has a power to remove the tiredness factor from this never-ending chore-cycle. And as I said before, everybody likes recognition and deserves it.
In raising kids such recognition is likewise indispensable. When a kid tried to clean the floor (and messed it up worse than it was before) instead of saying: “leave that alone, you cannot do it anyway!” try: “thank you for helping me!” and a smile. You will be amazed how fast the skill will improve!
So unleash your magical powers and start enhancing positive vibes in the air by saying “thank you” to people and sending them your sincere smiles! When you smile the world smiles back!
Family Life CEO 