Who is making our choices?

One of these days I stumbled upon a website of one little girl who was selling toys in order to collect money to follow her dream. The dream, as stated on the website, was to study in a prestigious design school and become a famous fashion designer. I loved the idea, yet it made me think about whose idea that truly was.

Actually this is one of the questions I find very important in raising kids; while I have no defined answer to it for myself.

How do you stimulate your kids to make their own choices and find ways to get to their goals?

Of course, leading by example is an obvious one and probably the surest. However,

is it enough?

Let’s take the same example of the girl and her hand-made toys. She wants to be a fashion designer. Ok, that is pretty plausible as a kid’s dream. On the other hand, I recall the Williams sisters example which I mentioned in one of my earlier posts (Balancing act — see here) — they started playing tennis because their father wanted to raise famous tennis players and all family means were put towards that goalof their father!… So who is making the choice?

Also, what about the choice of a school? Was it that the girl did her own research online and found the best school where she would like to study, or was that part already the domain of her parents?

Another point is the actual moving towards that dream. The girl is making her own toys, selling them online and through that gathering money for her future study. What I wonder is how did she come up with an idea? Was it her mother or father who told her that: look, if you want to study, you need money and that needs to be earned. Figure out how! Or, on the contrary, the girl was shown a precise way of what she should be doing… In other words, who made the choice of the way to proceed?

Don’t get me wrong: I am not trying to belittle the achievements of that little entrepreneur; I sincerely admire her and wish her to achieve all her goals. What I wonder in the context of our own kids

is there a method aside from just leading by example to stimulate that entrepreneurial spirit in your child?

Before I conclude, just to drop a silly example: being very pro-choice I try to stimulate our kids to make one, even in everyday situations. However, if I think about it, before they get to choosing between the options…I pick the options, thus:

is it actually a true choice anymore?

To draw the line, I do believe that we need to stimulate our kids to make their choices; try to help them make well informed ones; and overall do that for ourselves as well so that we are able to lead them by example.

The only thing I wonder is if there is anything else we can do?


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