If you are following my page on Facebook you might have seen me post a picture of the weeds that completely covered our beautiful lilac bushes at the end of the garden. I spent a whole morning pulling those things out and still I only managed to do just one side. Tedious job, but necessary. In the process I remembered the quote from “The Little Prince” about the nature of baobabs and thought about how often we forget that baobabs unattended happen to grow very fast.
A baobab is something you will never, never be able to get rid of if you attend to it too late. It spreads over the entire planet. It bores clear through it with its roots. And if the planet is too small, and the baobabs are too many, they split it in pieces… (Antoine de Saint-Exupery “The Little Prince”)
Whether we are talking about the actual weeds or about metaphorical baobabs such as the negative thoughts or bad habits the advice is the same: take care of them as fast as possible before they ruin your garden, your personality or your life.
Let’s take negative thoughts as an example. Continue reading The Nature of Baobabs: Don’t let them split you in pieces
Have you ever heard somebody ask: “How do you have energy to do all that?” Have you ever asked that question yourself to somebody else? It’s not even a matter of having enough time. You can always find time if you are actively searching for it. “I have no time” is just an excuse. On the other hand, “I have no energy” is a problem. Luckily it is usually a problem that has a solution.
To begin with, if you constantly feel as if somebody “pulled out the plug”, it might make sense to check your health. Pay attention to your levels of B12 vitamin, vitamin D, check your thyroid and bowels; as well as eliminate diabetes. Just to make sure. If everything is fine with your body, then the problem must lie in your head. The good news – it is solvable; the bad news – there is no magic pill, you have to work at solving it yourself.
It is normal that energy levels fluctuate as long as you make sure you are not completely drained out. I have touched upon the importance of having a balance between what gives you energy and what takes your energy away in my previous post Work-life balance when you don’t have a salaried job. There I also gave some examples of how I replenish my energy. I will not repeat them, but today I would like to focus on what I do to make sure that my energy is not drained in the first place. So here we go:
- I choose my battles. I cannot emphasize this hard enough! I don’t waste my energy on having arguments for the sake of arguments, or on trying to persuade somebody that he or she is wrong and I am right. We all have opinions. Things are rarely black and white. However, if you have a strong opinion about something it is very easy to get overly emotional about it and literally put all your energy in trying to persuade someone. The catch is – most of the times that someone will not change his mind irrespective of your arguments. So next time you start a lengthy heated debate about, for example, politics or breastfeeding or anything else, think about how much energy you are now going to waste and to achieve what? The same with – next time you get frustrated with your kids making a mess in a room that took you 2 hours to clean, just relax and make yourself some coffee. With a chocolate. And don’t share the chocolate.
- I don’t compare. I don’t compare my kids to those of other people. I don’t waste my energy worrying that my kids don’t fit some strange norms for example.I don’t compare my own life to somebody else’s. What’s the point? Related to that number 3
- I stand by my choice. If there is something I haven’t decided yet, I will of course spend time and energy on it (though trying to make that decision fast so that energy is not drained for too long). However once I have decided, I don’t come back to doubting. And which is even more important – I don’t regret.
- I know what I want and I know my values. I might still have some not completely clear issues or vague time frame, yet overall I already took my moment (and still take it on a regular basis) to ask myself the question to which “port” am I “sailing to” and why. And if I have the answers, which I do, then see the previous two points! No comparing and no regrets.
- I keep a positive focus. There are moments in everyone’s life when all things seem to be falling apart. There are those days when you are under the impression that everybody just conspired to make you explode. Vent and move on. Don’t allow one bad afternoon to turn into a bad week. Try the positive game, try to notice every time there is a negative thought and consciously eliminate it. It will not be easy until it becomes easy (giggle).
I get physically exhausted on a regular basis and there are days when my two little ones make my life “very difficult”. Still, I will be physically tired, but not emotionally empty. My energy levels might drop but will never drop to zero just because I always pay attention not to waste my energy and to replenish it on a regular basis.